In Control
by Tysoyo Kalli
Summary: Ever felt the need to be in control of yourself, while doing something you fear and love the most?..... yet another Raphael fic of mine.


Disclaimer: ....... *twitch*  
  
Summary: I have to control what happens.  
  
Time frame: Anytime... like usual...  
  
In Control  
  
____________________  
  
Her shirt was lifted from her body, and my eyes feast upon soft cream colored skin. Its smooth, like silk. Satiny, and shinny, from the tid bit of sweat forming on her body. I drag a hand up her side, slightly skimming the nail part of my finger against her skin. She makes a giggling sound that settles in the lower part of my stomach, making it churn.  
  
Churn with a mixture of lust, and hatred. Fear drips from me as I lower my mouth to her exposed stomach, enjoying the small gasp I recieve from her. I slowly travel downward feeling every small muscle flutter as my tongue snakes out to lick at the skin there. My hands remove the rest of her clothing, more or less on the lower section, and it registars that she wasn't wearing underwear. For some reason, this unnerved me.  
  
Because that took out a step to set me up to over power this monsterishly beauty streached out infront of me. I straddle her small waist and look down at her. Blonde hair, dark and sunny colored. And small but well painted eyes, the color of maple sugar. Skin creamy, with no tan lines at all, meaning this mixture of white and brown was her natural color.  
  
Though I did prefer the paler ones, she would do. She would kept me kindle this small fear and large desire for this... this sin. This disgustingly beautiful sin, when two bodies dance in the animalistic dance of sexual desires.  
  
And here, I am in control over what happens. She's waiting for me to do something, her eyes brooding. I want to know her name... to know who she really is. But then, that would mean that I would know what I have tainted for her. No, I would never back out of something like this. Because then, that fear would become stronger and my controlling over the situation would become weakened.  
  
I go forward, leaning down kissing lightly at her throat, creating a soft sound of a light moan. She was very voicetious. Nothing wrong with that. That would mean they would cry out for me, and make me feel... more powerful than I really am. Because... because before, I didn't have any control over my body, nor of her... actions towards me. No... no here I would have control. I could hurt this girl, and still be in control. I could make sweet passionate love, and will still be in control. Because... thats what I fear. Not being in control over my body.  
  
I never want that to happen again. To lose that control.  
  
She shutters under me, my clothing being removed slowly by her groping hands to expose this body of mine. Though, I am not to sure if I feel self concious, or not. Because there are parts I can't stand. But others I loved. Like I loved how my arms and shoulders came together and smoothed out across my chest. But, I couldn't stand how my thigh met my hips. It was to abrupt, didn't have any grace. It just meerly had to come together at some part.  
  
She moans as I take her, loving the feeling of power this one girl was giving me. She made me... made me control her. Because she wanted to be controlled. And thats just want I needed. I didn't need someone else doing that again. Controling how I reacted to things. How I reacted to touches, and to caresses against the most sensitive skin ever....  
  
She crys out her passion, yelling for this doctor embedded deep within her. Hearing this, I let my body release and a warm pleasure surges threw me. I callapse, enjoying this calm I get in my mind. Nothing goes threw...  
  
She's panting harder than I was. She really had gotten into this. This... sexual release by this 'doctor' she had called out for.  
  
I couldn't stand to be called Raphael during these moments. Because... because that would show that I actually have to be someone else, that I once was caring on who had ever touched my body. Now... now I didn't care. Now nothing mattered to me but this serenity I recieved.  
  
I wait till I hear her breathing slow down, she rolls close to me, hugging me, as if as a lover. When meerly, I have no intentions on staying. Because, well, I am suppose to be else where. not with this... this beauty.  
  
I quickly sneak from her grasp and collect my clothing and apply. I glare at her now, feeling sudden hatred that she had fallen for that so easily. Just a few stares, and brief nod and a look over and she jumped into this bed with me. Pathetic. But no more than I am. Asking for this... type of companion ship. Nothing long lasting. Just quick, short and rather enjoyable.  
  
This way, if I mess up, I just shrug it off.  
  
I fix my hair, leave some money on the counter for her, then leave out into the black abyss, hopeful that I will be able to discover something better to ease this constant longing and constand pain eched deep within my heart... Because, it hurts. It hurts worse than any injury that the body could ever recieve.  
  
And this way, this way I will always be in control over how long it may last... because thats my biggest desire. To control...  
  
______________________  
  
Owari....  
  
A/N: *sigh* I am suppose to be getting some sleep, but oh well, haven't written about Raphael in a long time. ^_^ I'm happy I was able to. Though he seems WAY ooc in my opinion and this just didn't go down well now did it? Oh well, ne? Well, Ja ne! And till next time!! 


End file.
